out to lunch

at long last, i have had a second date with the busy and elusive stand.

i took myself out to lunch at a cafe in langely.  i'm not sure i've ever eaten in a restaurant alone.  at least i'm pretty sure i haven't in this country.  it seemed like a reasonable challenge for a second date.  not something i am comfortable with, but not too much of a stretch either.

there was some awkwardness, certainly.  i didn't have much to say to myself (we'd already spent the morning together practicing driving a stick shift and taking a yoga class).  i had my ipod with me and it was difficult to resist the urge to listen to the audio book i've been enjoying (the emperor of maladies), but i deliberately chose to be alone with my thoughts and abstain from media distractions.  an internal dialogue followed regarding everything i was worried about; i consciously attempted to put it aside.  i imagined squishing those worries in a book like a flower or fairy (think Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy Book by Terry Jones) and adding the books to my library, to be dealt with at an appropriate time.

worries momentarily shelved, i found myself searching for something to look at, someone to watch... looking for distraction, no doubt.  as i was fidgeting and casting about for a story to tell myself, i took special note of the entrance of a cheerful older woman, seeming to be pleased enough to be solo and headed to a late brunch at the braeburn.  i found her sunny disposition inspirational.  perhaps someday my dates will be playful and friendly, inclusive of the people around me... open, in other words.  accepting of myself and therefore accepting of whomever should cross my path.

those are hopes.